Enough with the Self Sabotage

Image: Renee Zellweger and Colin Firth in Bridget Jones’s Diary (2001), Miramax.com

My Bridget Jones Life

My October 2017 Resolution Stats

(See my original resolutionsJanuaryFebruaryMarchAprilMay, June, July, August, and September stats here)

  • Averaged 210+ minutes of exercise per week (v. good, above goal)
  • 2 recipes tried this month (v. good, at goal)
  • 8,000+ written words for the month (v. good, all writing projects combined but into my top secret writing project.)

Speaking Up For Yourself

When Bridget finally knows what she wants, it seems all too late. She arrives at a party only to hear the announcement that not only is the love of her life, Mark Darcy, moving to New York for a new job but that he is going to marry another woman. It doesn’t help that the woman is beautiful, thin, and a successful lawyer, everything Bridget is not.

Silly Bridget, don’t you know that those things don’t matter? That someone will love you for YOU.

“No! No!” She cries out.

The room grows awkwardly silent and all eyes fall on her.

“It’s just that … it’s such a terrible pity …”

Oops, that’s not much better.

“… for England … to lose such a great legal brain. For the people of England, like me and you, to lose one of our top people. Our top person, really.”

Bridget, Bridget, Bridget, why did you wait until it was too late?

Face Your Excuses

There is a natural tendency towards waiting. It’s a sickness really, one of our worst human traits.

We too often wait for the perfect time to chase after what we want, and our procrastination becomes a sort of self-sabotage. I should know.

How many years have I been talking about publishing a novel?

It all comes down to our excuses, those falsehoods we keep telling ourselves. These justifications litter our brains with tomorrow-isms that will never come to pass if we don’t act.

  • I am not good enough.
  • I am too busy.
  • I am too old (or young).
  • I don’t know the right people.
  • I need to set enough money aside before I can get started.
  • I need to focus on the people who need me.
  • The timing isn’t right.

Admit it. You’ve used at least one of these excuses and more than once. I know I have. While there may be some truth in some of these statements, there is no absolute truth. You always have room to grow and change. You can overcome any obstacle, but you first have to make an effort. When you sit back on the excuse, you only fail yourself.

Stop the Sabotage

Regardless of our excuses, one thing holds true. They are based in fear. Fear that we will embarrass ourselves on the journey, fear that we are somehow not worthy of the success, or even fear that we won’t know how to adjust to life if and when we do succeed.

To be honest, most people are afraid of the unknown. That’s unfortunate because life is insecure. There are no promises, no guarantees. If we refrain from taking any risks, then the things that could potentially make us happy will remain elusive.

Don’t sabotage a hopeful life with your insecurities.

Bridget finally spoke out when she saw it all slipping away, when she saw what waiting almost cost her. She was lucky enough to still snag Mark Darcy in the process (ah, the joy of a rom-com!), but not all of us will be so lucky. Sometimes late is too late.

Sooooo, what are you waiting for?

I am already working on my novel.